January Health Scare

New Year’s Resolutions

I don’t make resolutions, because I know I won’t keep them, but I do try to evaluate the habits I have that keep me from living life the way I want to live it.  At the beginning of a new year, I think of getting up earlier, being more productive with my time, writing more, losing weight, exercising.  I doubt I’m any different than anyone else.  I just hope to look at the new year through new eyes so I can gain a new perspective. (In the photo below, I am using 2018 glasses as a headband.)   

I had such hopes for the first of year.  I was for sure going to get back to blogging.  I have truly missed it.  I knew the only way I would get back to blogging by reading, commenting, and writing again would be if I made some changes to my daily schedule.  I would have to stop settling in my chair with a cup of coffee, my iPad, and checking out Facebook, and my new time waster,  Instagram.  Honestly, I have wasted, yes wasted, way too much time with this kind of start to the day.

I read two newspapers before I get going, so by the time I even think of getting up out of that favorite chair to make my breakfast, the morning has been whittled away to nothing.

Yes, I resolved, this year, I was going to get up early and get going with being productive in 2018.

On the January 1, 2018, we didn’t get up early because we had been out celebrating too late.  We aren’t kids anymore, so staying up partying until way after midnight means that we start the new year by sleeping in.

The night before on New Year’s Eve, we spent a wonderful night celebrating with my cousin and her husband at their beautiful home.  They have a group of friends from high school days that they celebrate with, so we were happy they invited us to join them.  I said we were the chaperones since these “kids” are half a decade younger.  We had so much fun.  The party was a great success.  Our host cooked a marvelous meal.  After eating, we watched the fireworks that were set off from the top of Pikes Peak, then we drank a bit of champaign, sang Auld Lang Syne, toasted each other and the new year, took a few more photos, and then headed home.

We had plans for the first day of the year that included taking down Christmas.  Jim and I decided that the tree would stay up another day because we were too tired to take it down on January 1st.  In fact, we didn’t take down any of the Christmas decorations.  We would do that the next day, on January 2.

Early in the morning on the second day of January 2018, my husband woke me out of a deep sleep by calling my name in a voice that startled me.  When I was finally able to respond, he said, “I don’t feel well at all.  I’m sweating.  At times I’m hot, then I’m cold, and I am really dizzy.”  I was immediately out of bed and standing next to him at his side of the bed.  Indeed, he was sweating.  He was in a cold sweat.  In fact, his forehead was very clammy.  I asked what he was experiencing, and was told he’d been like this for at least 45 minutes.  He said he’d gotten up and made his way to the bathroom but barely made his way back because he was so dizzy.  

I ran for the blood pressure cuff and took his blood pressure.  It was extremely low.  I asked what he wanted me to do, or I guess I actually gave him two choices: did he want to go to the hospital by car or by ambulance.  I asked about other symptoms while I quickly threw on clothes and shoes.  He said he wanted me to drive him to the hospital and said he had no other symptoms.  (He actually kept a few important facts from me because I think he knew I would have called an ambulance had I’d known all his symptoms.)  His dizziness made it difficult for us to make to the car, but we made it.  The nearest hospital is only ten minutes away, so I wasn’t too concerned as I made my drive, but honestly, I kept wishing I’d called an ambulance.

Once in the ER, he told the nurses that he had numbness in his left arm and left foot.  He also had chest pain.  That is when all the tests began as they tried to find out what was going on with him.  

The hospital near us is a new one, and the hospital and the staff are wonderful.  We had help immediately.  He had a CT scan, EKG, and blood work done in less than an hour.  All tests came back looking good, but Jim continued to be dizzy, and he continued to have severe numbness on his left side.  

He slept from the time I got him there around 7:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m.  After speaking with specialist at the University affiliated hospital across town, it was determined that Jim would be transported to that hospital for further testing and observation.  It was suspected that he had experienced a TIA (transient ischemic attack).  

After nearly twelve hours in the emergency room of the original hospital where I had taken him, he was transported to Main by ambulance.  I was skeptical that anything would happen that night in the way of talking to a neurologist or of having tests.  I could not have been more wrong.  

Jim was admitted to a room in a new wing of the hospital devoted only to stroke victims.  On the very day that this new Comprehensive Stroke Center for southern Colorado was announced in the news, Jim became one of its patients.  We could not have been more impressed.  He was barely in his room when he was visited by the neurologist who already had been speaking with the ER doctor and had seen his tests from the ER.  Soon, a hospitalist was at his bedside also.  That night Jim had three MRIs and was constantly monitored while also being evaluated for stroke symptoms continually.  He was also given many tests for his heart.  

Thankfully, all tests came back not showing a stroke, and his heart also checked out well.  (Jim had a heart attack when his LAD was 95% blocked in 2011.)(click the highlighted area to read about this event) As a result of all of the testing and his symptoms, it was determined that Jim most likely did have a TIA.  The first twenty-four hours after such an event are the most dangerous, so he was monitored until late in the day of January 3, then after making a few changes in his medicine, he was discharged, and we went home with grateful hearts because it all could have been so much worse.  

I did not expect to begin 2018 with a medical scare.  We both have had a big wake-up call when it comes to listening to our bodies.  A word of caution to us all:  If it seems things are really off, if dizziness is nearly knocking one to the floor, if blood pressure is extremely low, if parts of the body are numb, then get to the hospital, preferably via an ambulance.  Time is of the essence if one is experiencing a stroke.  Also, a TIA is not to be dismissed as a small matter.  Within the first 24 hours after such an event one is at risk of a stroke.  Also, one is more highly at risk of having a stoke after experiencing a TIA.  

We have both resolved to focus on making better choices when it comes to our health.  Jim is working hard on his diet and is losing weight.  I am trying to do the same.  We are trying to eat at home more and eat out less.  We are trying to get to bed a bit earlier.  We are exercising.  Jim is always better at that than I am, but we both are trying to do better in 2018 than we did in 2017.  

Here’s to a healthy and happy 2018 for us both!

Today, we took it easy and rested.  I didn’t want to go to church with all the flu that is out there.  I also felt we just needed to rest up because yesterday I felt like I was fighting off some bug.  Thankfully, today whatever was making me achy and chilled and tired headachy and sick feeling left me.  We went for a nice walk this afternoon.  As we walked, linking my arm through Jim’s, I said, “You know I don’t take this ability to walk together on this crisp January afternoon lightly.  We are so blessed to have each other and to be healthy enough to walk and enjoy life.  That opportunity has been denied so many from our same age group."  We’ve lost friends and acquaintances in the past year to heart attacks, cancer, falls, and other illnesses.  

One thing I know for certain:  we have absolutely no guarantees in life.  Resolutions may be the thing we think we should do at the beginning of the year, but I have decided that for me instead of worrying about how I am spending my time, I’m going to focus on being grateful for the time I have to spend.  I think gratitude is a great informer when it comes to making choices on how to spend time.

Each day is a gift.  Each moment we have to share with each other is a treasure.  If we spend too much time staying up late reading, that is ok.  At least we can still read.  Besides, we love sitting side by side reading late into the night.

If we sit and sip coffee all morning and don’t accomplish anything, that too is ok.  We love our morning routines of chatting, reading the newspaper, and catching up with the world.  

If Jim has to hustle off to work, I try to hustle off to do something productive while he is gone.  I’m grateful he can still work and that he loves his work so much.  

On our way home from our walk today, we changed up the route a bit.  It threw Boston off his game.  He is used to our same routine and route.  As we approached our home, he threw us off a bit too when he suddenly jumped up on a bench in our neighbor’s yard.  He used to love to jump up on walls and benches as a pup.  Today, I guess he felt young at heart and just had to jump up on that once favorite bench of his like he did when he was younger.  Or maybe, he just wanted to have a closer adoring look at his master.  Maybe he too was grateful for walk on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in January and he just want to make sure his master knew it.  These two love each other.  This photo is priceless.

Life truly is best lived in the moment.  Treasure each one you have with your loved ones.  Let them know it by giving them one of those adoring looks when you gaze in each other’s eyes. Or, you might just want to kick up your heels and do what you used to love to do when you were younger.  Moments like these are something to bark about.  

Celebrating a Change of Heart

Two years ago, the quality of my life was not great.  The core problem, the heart of the matter, the nitty-gritty of it all, was that my heart was not working properly.  I had developed a heart syndrome called tachy-brady. Sometimes, it is also called sick sinus syndrome.  The first time I heard my primary doctor say to me "I think you have sick sinus syndrome," I was clueless as to what it meant, but I knew it wasn't good.  In truth, she was the first to come up with this diagnosis, one that the nurse practitioner at my cardiologist's office dismissed.  By the time the GP, reading the same sleep study report that my cardiologist had received, made this observation, I already had an extensive file containing drugs tried, tests done, and procedures considered for troubling symptoms of arrhythmia.

A year before the final slump with a heart not functioning correctly, I had a heart ablation to correct tachycardia, a rhythm problem that the heart will sometimes develop that will cause the heart to beat too fast.  After the ablation, I felt wonderful and was able to carry on with my life until about six or eight months later when I again began to experience a wildly beating heart that would leave me exhausted and faint.  A sleep study was ordered to see if I was getting enough oxygen at night.  I wasn't, but adding oxygen at night didn't help my faintness and exhaustion.

 Diagnosing my problem was a process.  It wasn't enough to have a GP say that she thought I had sick sinus syndrome.  Diagnosis for me involved having a small device called a loop recorder implanted in my left breast. This miraculous little device allowed my doctor to see exactly what was going on in this heart of mine when it would decide not to beat properly.  I had the recorder fewer than two weeks before it was determined that I needed a pacemaker.  

Getting that pacemaker changed my heart, the way it beat, and it changed my life.  A pacemaker gave me my life back.  Today, two years ago the miracle of modern medicine allowed for a device to be implanted in my body which would monitor my heart and keep it from going too fast or too slow.  I can now walk longer distances, walk up hills, and I can go about the business of my life with few problems with my heart.  I am so grateful.

Two years ago, just before I received the pacemaker, I remember sitting in the my chair in the living room feeling quite sorry for myself as my husband went out for a long walk in the neighborhood with the dog and without me.  I remember that while he was gone my heart rate went down in the 30's and my blood pressure plummeted so low that I had to call the doctor.  He ordered me to get to the hospital.  It was Easter Sunday.  I did not want to go to the hospital with yet another heart episode, but I had no choice.  When my husband got back from his walk, he had to take me to the hospital.  They almost implanted the pacemaker that night, but finally determined I would be safe to wait a few days for the procedure.

I don't take being able to walk at the altitude where I live for granted.  I am grateful I am able to go for my daily walks and enjoy the beauty of the world around me.  Today, the sky was as blue as it could be.  I never tire of looking at the rock formations near my home.  They fascinate me.  They remind me just why I love to live where I do.  My marmalade cat rock (I love her) looks down on me as I walk by her, and seems to say, "I'm happy to see you out and about today."  (She is the rock formation on the top right.)  The table rock on the lower right is still waiting for one you to come and join me for a tea party on her flat surface.

I never could have made it through the bouts with my health that I have had without the guy by my side, my dear and greatly loved husband.  It is so good to walk through this life with him.  I so love when we go on walks together.  Today, I said, "I love where we live," as we sat on our patio after our walk.  With my camera, I captured this laugh on his face when he brought up my one complaint about where I live, "Except for crawlspace in the basement."  Hey, I'd probably live in crawlspace with the guy, but don't tell him that.  He keeps me laughing.  He keeps me keeping on.

I can't forget how much I love my other loyal companion.  He also is always at my side.  (Except when his master is home.  Then he is by his side.)  I love my Boston boy too.

Today, was such a beautiful day.  The sun was shining.  The sky was blue.  My man was by my side.  Even the daffodils I planted around our new patio last fall were blooming.

On this glorious spring day, I was able to walk 1.9 miles, gaining 137 feet in altitude at an altitude of over 6,600 feet.  My average heart rate was 115 BPM.  Look at this cool map that shows my route.  (Thank you Jim for my Apple watch which tracks such things.)  

I could do this because of that change of heart I had two years ago.  That is something to celebrate.  

Times That Refresh The Soul

There are times which I always look forward to throughout the year.  The early days of spring in Colorado are so unpredictable.  One never knows if it will be a warm sunny day, or a day of wind and snow.  Some days we will have warmth, sun, wind and snow all in one day.  So, having grown up in a climate such as this, I never have huge expectations for a warm Easter celebration, but nearly always, I do host a celebration of some sort.  Mostly, I look forward to a time of renewal during Easter season.  Renewal comes to me through worship, time spent with family, and spending time in nature.

This year's Easter Weekend was so different from those in the past.  There have been few Easters when  my children and grandchildren have not gathered at my house.  This year, none of the children or grandchildren were here.  It seemed a bit quiet.  Quiet is good sometimes.  This year, I knew I just did not have the energy to entertain.  Also, my daughter who lives the closest had been traveling for her job for several weeks and naturally needed a weekend at home before she went on the next leg of work travel.

The Easter Weekend was mostly spent resting.  Good Friday services at church prepared my soul for an even more joyful Easter.  As we left the communion table on Friday night, we were asked to refrain from greeting each other until we reached the foyer outside the sanctuary so that we might remember the Body broken for us and the Blood shed for us.  The memory of a large congregation leaving silently after the service continues to touch me.  A dear friend hugged me momentarily as we made our way to the middle of the foyer, we parted silently and left the building with others still in silence.  In today's world, we have so few times when we actually experience corporate reverence expressed in silence.  As I left the church building, home of the church where I first began attending over thirty years ago, I was moved to gratitude as I reflected on the beauty of the service, the powerful sermon we had heard, and the overwhelming sense of homecoming that flooded my heart and mind.  Seeing the snow covered Pikes Peak looming large in the western sky anchors me always as it speaks of home and links me to my girlhood.

Hoping to buy a home with a view of Pikes Peak when we moved to my hometown in October of 2012, I moved that desire down on the list when we found our current home in the beautiful and peaceful Woodmen Valley.  Now, Blodgett Peak, with an altitude of 9, 423 ft. is a mountain peak I am growing to love as I watch her throughout the day.  At times, I  watch storms descend, rolling down  her sides, or watch as snow softly dusts her crown.  On our way home from church on Good Friday, I captured a view of the sun setting at the foot of valley in which I live.  Blues, and shades of grey or light purple colored the sky. The brilliant focal point of orange and yellow was perfectly framed by the deep blue black purple hues of the mountains that surround the dip between peaks.    (Blodgett is on the left side of the dip.)  Times like these on the journey towards home truly refresh my soul and bring great joy, peace, and hope.

On Sunday, after a joy filled Easter church service, my husband took me to The Margarita at Pine Creek for the brunch.  Our meal, as every meal there always is, was melt in the mouth good.  As we enjoyed eating the coffee cake served before the three course meal, we both spoke of summer and how we looked forward to coming to this place for farmer's market every Saturday.  I go for the produce and the coffee cake we purchase to eat as we listen to local bands on lazy Saturday mornings.  My husband goes for the coffee cake.  Summer is coming, and the harvest.  I don't want to rush things, but it is coming.

Later in the day, inspired by thinking of Easters gone by after my cousin wrote on Facebook how the memory of my beautiful mother's soprano voice came flooding back to her as she sang an Easter hymn in church that morning.  She asked my now nearly 98 year old mother to call her and sing to her.  Yes, mother's voice is still beautiful, and it blesses me each time I have the opportunity to stand beside her in church. I knew somewhere in my photos I had this photo of an Easter Sunday from my childhood.  In some ways, it is the quintessential photo that illustrates much of my earliest family traditions.

Taken in 1952 at my aunt and uncle's home either before or just after church, dressed in the turquoise colored raw silk dress made by mother and patterned after the dress she made herself, I am surrounded by those whom walked through childhood with me:  my mother, my sister, the one just smaller than I, my brother, dressed in coat and tie, my dear Aunt Katherine, my closest friend and cousin, Donna, born just ten days after I, her brother David, and her youngest sister, Diana.  My childhood centered around family, faith, and hometown schools and neighborhoods.  My father, not in the photo, received our smiles. My uncle, one always on the night shift at the railroad, was probably sleeping.

David, Rell, Donna, Sally, Carol and Diana Alberta (Mother) and Aunt Katherine 1952 Colorado Springs, Colorado

Perhaps it was the posting of this photo that prompted my cousin Diana to invite us to her home for dinner on the Monday evening after Easter to join her and husband as they hosted a gathering for her siblings Donna, who lives in Arizona in the winter, and her brother David and his wife, who spend most of the winter in North Carolina.  She also requested we bring Boston along for the evening so that he and her dog could finally meet and have a play date.  We've been anxious to have Boston and Nelly meet.  They are both golden retrievers.  Boston just turned three and Nelly is one.  

One of the great things about living back in my hometown has been how much time I am now able to spend with extended family.  Just as in our childhood, we cousins really loved to be together and just lived blocks from each other.  We went to church together and to school together.  Diana and I both returned home to Colorado Springs within months of each other in 2012.  Diana to us, she is Dian Regan Curtis (click to visit her website) to those who read and love her books.  After the tragic death of her husband in 2010, she returned "home" to marry a man she had known since junior high.   He was also a widower.  Her husband is a great guy and fabulous cook, so it is always a treat to be invited over for dinner.  Last Easter, they had spent the day with us at our home in a celebration that included several generations of cousins.  

Nelly and Boston got along extremely well and were very excited to meet and play together.  Boston was a bit of a bad boy.  He ran through the garden that had just been planted that morning.  He got in the pond and played while Nelly looked on with a disapproving and envious eye.  He took a bone from Nelly and would not give it back even when it was time to go home.  I hope he gets invited back again.  

Boston is keeping that bone safe from Nelly

After dinner, just as it was getting dark, we went out onto the patio and sat around a fire pit to continue enjoying the early spring evening.  Diana and S have one of the best lots in all of Colorado Springs.  From anywhere on the back of the property, one has a perfect, unobstructed view of Pikes Peak, and the Garden of the Gods.  Their home is frequently visited by deer, bear, and coyotes.  

Dian Regan Curtis

As you can see, we had to bundle up to go out into the night air.  Thankfully, Diana had a closet full of warm coats that we could borrow.  It had been a warm sunny day when we left for dinner.  Once the sun went down, it was a perfectly beautiful, crisp, cool evening.  It reminded me of evenings from our childhood when we sat before a campfire and listened to the stories told by our aunts and uncles.  Storytelling is part of our family heritage.  Diana made storytelling a successful career.   

Here is a photo of our hosts, the happy newly weds, with Nelly who just recently turned one.  S has to deal with two red heads.  I'm sure this keeps him on his toes.

With my iPhone, I took this photo of my cousins who were also in the photo taken in 1952 shown shown earlier in this post.  These three have always been as much a part of my life as my own siblings.  Donna, and I are especially close.  (I wrote a blog post about Donna.  You can read it here: Cousins Ready Made Friends For Life.)  She lost her oldest daughter to cancer in September, so now we share the sorrow of losing a daughter.  

Yes, our history is very linked.  Here we are on our very first Easter celebration.  

Mother, Rell, Aunt Katherine Sally and Donna

We've come a long ways since those baby days, but our bonds are deeper than ever.  Time spent with my cousins always stirs up memories of long ago when our gatherings included our grandparents, our aunts and uncles, and a houseful of cousins laughing, teasing, telling jokes, and playing games.  Now, only my mother and one uncle remain from the generation that went before us. I think it the bond and shared history that comes from spending time with my cousins that refreshes my soul.  Laughter is also good medicine.  I've always loved the wit that I find in my family.  They never fail to make me laugh with the great wit that so many display.  

For instance, Diana shared this on her facebook page just after she invited us and our dog to her house for dinner.  

 I told her I wasn't coming to her house for dinner again unless I knew for sure she used commas.

Thankfully, my husband also loves my cousins and looks forward to spending time with them.  He grew up never having a cousin.  Now, he has been adopted into my family of cousins.  Needless to say, our early springtime celebrations have been just perfect, just what we needed this year.  I'm so very grateful to be living in this place at this time where I am surrounded by great beauty in the world around me and the love and laughter of those whom I have known since my earliest days.  

That man next to me, and his dog, they also fill my heart with love and joy.  I am blessed.