Pacing and Patience - Secrets from Nature
/Imagine feeling the following sensations periodically on a daily basis:
dizziness,
floating,
spinning,
whirling
light headedness,
nausea.
Add to that:
confusion
and
a sense of being out of sync with life, your environment, and those around you.
This all makes you feel
isolated
and
not understood.
Add to all of these symptoms, pain and headaches.
Along with the headaches,
add
visual disturbances,
tinnitus,
fullness in the ears.
Along with the above symptoms and sensations,
add:
fatigue
that does not go away even as you sleep much of the day away,
loss of the ability to
concentrate,
the loss of
short term memory,
and the inability to problem solve.
Imagine:
not being able to drive,
socialize,
frequent public places,
or
go grocery shopping
because you are overwhelmed by the sights and sounds surrounding you.
Add crippling anxiety to all of the above.
Intensify the debilitating effect of all of the above with the process of dealing with
grief over the recent death of a child.
Imagine that it is the dead of winter when the landscape seems bleak and bare.
When nothing seems to be blooming in life, not even hope,
by my own nature, I am very far from the message that Ralph Waldo Emerson gives about the pace of nature. I want things blooming again. NOW.
The preceding words were written in August of 2012, and shared with readers of a blog I wrote at the time called, “Retired English Teacher.” The words described how I felt through much of the first months of 2012, after a head injury I suffered from falling down the stairs in my home on the second day of 2012. Previous to the fall, I was already suffering from very troubling symptoms of a condition that remained undiagnosed. This head injury exacerbated those symptoms sent me on a new journey of learning much about
healing,
hope,
pacing, and
patience.
I remember that one of the first pieces of advice given me after my injury by my chiropractor was,
"Be patient with yourself."
I am not a patient person.
I needed a very special person in my life to teach me patience. I also needed one who had the education and skills to properly diagnose my problems and give me the therapy I needed to heal.
Thankfully, I found that person in a very gifted physical therapist who a board certified neurological clinical specialist who specializes in all those symptoms that were robbing me of the life I once had. To say that she was a God send to my life is an understatement. I honestly do not know how I would have survived without the skill set that she used to diagnose my problems and to design a treatment plan that would give me both hope and healing.
The diagnosis I received ten years ago was “visual vestibular disorder.
Since that time, I have suffered from the effects of this disorder at various times. Each time, I practice the exercises I had given, and watched my diet, and made sure I got good rest, and the symptoms went away without causing much distress.
That is until, late winter and early spring of 2021.
2020 was not a good year for any of us. It was particularly stressful for me, so when February of 2021 rolled around, it seemed like getting away to St. George, Utah, would be the best way to celebrate that 2020 was over while simultaneously celebrating my birthday with my two oldest children.
The trip, the celebration, being with family again, and seeing all the beautiful sights of the area were just what I needed after the stressful year of 2020. I was not expecting that all the changes in altitude and weather combined with an extreme reaction to seasonal allergies would send me into a tail spin of vertigo that would not abate.
After seeing doctors for weeks upon weeks, I was finally diagnosed with vestibular migraine by a ear, nose, and throat specialist.
I again consulted by phone with the therapist who had helped me so much in 2012. She agreed that the diagnosis was correct, and said that much had been learned about this condition since I had last seen her. Thankfully, the treatment plan she prescribed by phone, and the one my primary care doctor set in place helped me heal again.
Cronic conditions such as vestibular migraines do have a way of disrupting life again and again. in my case, they usually present when I least expect them to appear again.
In October of 2022, just about two months ago, I again visited the ENT who first diagnosed my vestibular migraine disorder. I had a sinus infection and earache that caused terrible ringing in my ears, fullness, and pain. I was severely fatigued and suffering from brain fog that would not lift.
I thought I was losing my mind from all the various symptoms I was suffering. I thought perhaps I needed an antibiotic for the sinus infection that I imagined was raging, and I worried that I might have developed Meniere’s disease. I was confused because I did not have vertigo, which I normally have during vestibular migraines. I was surprised when a hearing test ruled out Meniere’s and diagnosed vestibular migraine yet again. My symptoms were presenting differently, and so I did not recognize that it was a reoccurrence of a familiar condition.
Knowing we would be traveling, I worried that I my symptoms would only become worse. I bought a new book that was recommended to me called, “The Dizzy Cook” by Alicia Wolf. Her advice on travel and diet is priceless. I began the vitamin routine that my doctor recommended. I then took off for a two week vacation.
The vacation, one that we took to North Carolina was great, but the symptoms from the migraine kept me from enjoying it fully. I believe I controlled the symptoms the best I could, but in truth, my brain and body were severely out of balance, so I was so grateful to get an appointment with my gifted physical therapist. I was in her office two days after my return from vacation. It had been ten years since my symptoms were so bad that I had to visit her in her office.
Now, nearly a month later, after the various protocols given to me by my therapist, I am beginning to go through most days with few symptoms. I’m so grateful.
The most important practice I have put into place is this:
“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ”
Yes, I know I started this post with the quote. I’m ending it with the same quote because this lesson is one I am still learning over and over.
In the past few weeks, I’ve also learned some new applications for that lesson. I hope to share some these applications as we all go through the busy holiday season. For now, though, I’m sending this post out for all who need a message of support that encourages patience.
What is testing you patience during this holiday season?
How are you learning to pace yourself?
I’m truly interested in knowing about your response to the questions above.
If you are suffering from chronic conditions that strike when you need them to leave you alone, how do you strategize to get better by pacing yourself when you have other demands?
I hope my post helps you feel less alone if you are struggling with any health complication during the holidays.
This week, the second week of Advent, is the week of peace. May peace find you as you pace yourself by welcoming that secret ingredient from nature into your life: patience.
